What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a process in which a trained, impartial third party — the mediator — helps you and your ex-partner communicate and work towards agreements on issues arising from your separation. The mediator does not take sides, give legal advice, or make decisions for you. Their role is to help you both identify the issues, share information, and explore options.
Mediation can cover:
- Child arrangements — where the children will live, how much time they spend with each parent, schooling, holidays, and handover arrangements
- Financial matters — division of property, savings, pensions, and debts
- Maintenance — both spousal maintenance and child support arrangements
- The family home — whether to sell, transfer ownership, or defer sale
- Communication — how you will co-parent and make decisions going forward
Mediation is confidential. What you say in sessions cannot be used as evidence in court proceedings, which allows for frank conversation without fear that admissions will be used against you later.
When mediation is required
Before making most applications to court in family proceedings, you are required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). At a MIAM, a mediator explains how mediation works and assesses whether it is suitable for your situation. You do not have to proceed to mediation after a MIAM, but you must attend one — or show that an exemption applies — before a court application can be issued.
Exemptions include cases involving domestic abuse, where the other party is unable to be located, urgent applications, and certain other circumstances. A mediator can advise whether an exemption applies to your case.
What to look for
FMC accreditation. Look for mediators who are accredited by the Family Mediation Council (FMC). The FMC is the regulatory body for family mediators and its accreditation — indicated by the letters FMCA — confirms that a mediator has completed the required training, practice hours, and assessment process. Registered but not yet accredited mediators are still in training; an accredited mediator has met the full standard.
Legal Aid. If you are eligible for Legal Aid, you must use a mediator who is contracted with the Legal Aid Agency. If you qualify, your ex-partner’s MIAM is also free of charge, even if they do not qualify themselves. Use the government’s Find a Mediation Service tool to search for Legal Aid providers.
Specialism. Most family mediators handle both children and finance matters. Some have particular experience in complex financial cases, high-conflict situations, cases with international dimensions, or child-inclusive mediation (where the mediator meets separately with children to understand their views). Match the mediator’s experience to your circumstances.
Location and format. Mediation can take place in person at the mediator’s offices, or remotely via video conference. Remote mediation became widespread post-pandemic and many people find it equally effective. If there are safety concerns, shuttle mediation — where the parties are in separate rooms or separate calls, with the mediator going between them — is an option.
Languages. If you would prefer to mediate in a language other than English, some mediators offer sessions in other languages or can arrange for an interpreter.
How mediation works
A typical mediation process runs as follows:
- MIAM — each party attends a MIAM, either together or separately
- Joint sessions — you meet together with the mediator over two to five sessions (each typically 90 minutes to two hours), identifying issues, sharing financial disclosure, and exploring options
- Memorandum of Understanding — if you reach agreement, the mediator prepares a written summary. This is not legally binding
- Legal advice and consent order — you each take independent legal advice on the agreement, and a solicitor converts it into a legally binding court order
You can stop mediation at any time. If mediation fails to produce agreement on some or all issues, you can proceed to court for those matters.
How mediators are regulated
Family mediators in England and Wales are regulated by the Family Mediation Council (FMC), which maintains standards for training, practice, and continuing professional development. The FMC publishes a public register of all registered and accredited mediators.
Search the FMC register: familymediationcouncil.org.uk/find-local-mediator
Is mediation suitable in every case?
Mediation is not appropriate in all circumstances. It is not recommended where there has been domestic abuse that has created an imbalance of power, where one party is concealing assets, or where there are child protection concerns. Mediators are trained to screen for these situations at the MIAM stage.
If domestic abuse is a concern, see our support guidance for information on getting help safely.
Where to search
- Family Mediation Council — Find a Mediator — the official FMC register of accredited and registered mediators
- Find a Legal Aid Mediation Service — government tool to find Legal Aid-contracted mediators near you
- College of Mediators — a professional body for mediators with its own membership directory
- Resolution — many Resolution members also offer mediation services alongside solicitor work
Costs
Mediator fees vary but typically run to £100–£200 per person per hour, with sessions lasting 90 minutes to two hours. A full mediation process of three to five sessions might cost each party £600–£2,000 — significantly less than contested court proceedings.
The MIAM itself is usually charged at a flat fee of around £90–£150 per person.
If you qualify for Legal Aid, mediation is free for you, and your partner’s MIAM is also free.