Private maintenance arrangements

Why choose a private arrangement?

Around half of separated families with maintenance arrangements use private agreements rather than the Child Maintenance Service (CMS). There are good reasons for this:

No fees: Unlike the CMS, which charges a £20 application fee and ongoing collection charges (20% to paying parents, 4% to receiving parents), private arrangements are completely free.

Flexibility: You can agree whatever works for your family – different amounts at different times, payments in kind (like covering specific bills), or adjustments for holidays and special circumstances.

Better relationships: Working things out directly often maintains a more cooperative co-parenting relationship than involving a government agency.

Simplicity: No forms, no waiting for HMRC information, no annual reviews. You agree terms and get on with it.

Privacy: Your financial affairs stay between you and your ex-partner.

Is a private arrangement right for you?

Private arrangements work best when:

• You can communicate reasonably well with your ex-partner
• You both want to be fair and put your children first
• The paying parent has a regular, predictable income
• You trust each other to honour commitments
• Neither of you wants the government involved in your finances

They may not work well when:

• Communication has completely broken down
• There’s a history of financial dishonesty or control
• The paying parent has an erratic income or is likely to avoid payment
• Domestic abuse is involved
• You can’t agree on what’s fair

How much should be paid?

There’s no legal minimum or maximum for private arrangements. However, most families use the CMS formula as a starting point, then adjust based on their circumstances.

The government’s child maintenance calculator shows what the CMS would calculate based on income. This gives you an objective reference point for negotiations.

You might agree to pay more than the CMS amount if:

• The paying parent has a high income and wants to maintain the children’s lifestyle
• You want to include extras like school fees, activities, or holidays
• The receiving parent has given up work to care for the children

You might agree less if:

• The paying parent has significant debts or financial pressures
• Care is shared more equally than standard arrangements
• The receiving parent has a much higher income

What matters is that both of you consider the arrangement fair and sustainable.

What to include in your agreement

A good private maintenance agreement should cover:

The amount: How much will be paid? Is it a fixed amount or based on a formula?

Frequency: Weekly, monthly, or another schedule?

Payment method: Standing order, bank transfer, cash? (Standing orders are best – they create a clear record.)

Start date: When do payments begin?

What it covers: Is this for general living costs, or does it include specific items?

Reviews: How and when will you review the amount? Annually? When circumstances change?

Changes: What happens if the paying parent’s income changes significantly?

Extras: Who pays for school trips, activities, clothing, medical costs?

Putting it in writing

While you don’t legally have to write anything down, it’s strongly advisable. A written agreement:

• Prevents misunderstandings about what was agreed
• Provides a reference point if disputes arise
• Shows you’ve both thought carefully about the arrangement
• Can be presented to a court if you later want it made legally binding

Keep the document simple and clear. You don’t need legal jargon – just plain English that captures what you’ve agreed.

Making it legally enforceable

A private agreement isn’t automatically enforceable. If the paying parent stops paying, you can’t go to court to force them – your main option would be to apply to the CMS.

If you want legal enforceability, you have two options:

Consent order through divorce

If you’re going through divorce, child maintenance can be included in your financial consent order. The court can then enforce it like any other court order.

However, be aware that consent orders for child maintenance can be overridden by a CMS application after 12 months. The CMS calculation may be different from what you agreed.

Standalone court order

You can apply to court for a child maintenance order outside of divorce proceedings, but this is relatively unusual. Courts prefer parents to use either private arrangements or the CMS.

For most families, the simplest approach is to start with a private arrangement, and only involve the CMS if it stops working.

Tips for making it work

Be realistic

Agree an amount the paying parent can actually afford consistently. An unrealistic payment that leads to missed payments is worse than a smaller amount paid reliably.

Build in flexibility

Life changes. Include a process for reviewing and adjusting the arrangement rather than treating it as fixed forever.

Keep records

Both parents should keep records of payments made and received. Bank statements showing standing orders are ideal. This protects everyone if there’s ever a dispute.

Communicate about changes

If the paying parent’s circumstances change (job loss, pay rise, new baby), they should tell the receiving parent promptly. Equally, if children’s needs change significantly, discuss it rather than letting resentment build.

Separate money from contact

Don’t withhold maintenance because contact arrangements aren’t working, and don’t refuse contact because maintenance isn’t paid. These are legally separate issues, and mixing them up harms your children.

Consider a mediator

If you’re struggling to agree fair terms, a family mediator can help you reach an arrangement that works for both of you. This is much cheaper than involving solicitors or the CMS.

When things go wrong

If payments become unreliable:

1. Talk first – there may be a genuine reason (job loss, illness). See if you can agree a temporary adjustment.

2. Put it in writing – if payments are late, send a polite reminder by text or email. Keep a record.

3. Try mediation – if communication has broken down, a mediator can help you get back on track.

4. Apply to the CMS – if private arrangements have definitively failed, the CMS can take over. They have powers to enforce payment that you don’t have privately.